No more student status

Friday was my last day of student teaching!! I can't believe it's over... I feel relieved and sad all at once. The kids were pretty sad to see me leave, but I'll actually be back on Friday afternoon to sub for a couple of classes. That made it nice to not have to finish everything up AND say goodbye all at once. I ate lunch with two of the girls as a reward for good behavior. They were so talkative and it was fun to be able to eat with them on my last day. In the afternoon I gathered up all of the materials and cleaned up my area. It was "bittersweet" (overused phrase I know, but quite fitting,) to realize that this is the end of my college career! How crazy! Over the weekend I finished up my portfolio stuff - student profiles, tweaking observation notes, etc.

About two minutes ago, my heart sang as I wrote all these files to a CD. When it ejected from the computer, I could almost hear "Pomp and Circumstance" in the background. :) When I was decididing whether or not to come back to the States for graduation, I asked my oldest brother David about it, because he opted out of coming back, as he finished up everything in December of '05, I believe. He said that he really doesn't regret it much at all, and when he dropped his last paper off at the professor's office, he could almost hear that famous graduation song also. So...I am now looking forward to the approaching summer, and also starting to think of ideas for next year. I have a few decisions to make this week, and would appreciate prayer for that. I am excited to come up with some creative ideas and to have time to really reflect on improvements I can make and all that jazz. Yesterday was a fun day, and was somewhat of a celebration for me. My church had a race in the morning- a 50-meter dash, and an endurance one. It was so fun to fellowship with brothers and sisters in that sort of atmosphere. I enjoyed running with the women, and I won 2nd place in the endurance one and 3rd in the 50-meter. The prize was a box of chocolate. Ironic, I know, but very Brazilian :) The pastor's wife won first place in the endurance one, and she deserved it for sure! She walks about 10 K every day, and is in her mid-40's or 50's. She even was recovering from a cold, and still won! Talk about in shape! AND only 11 days until I get on that plane to Peru! By no means will it be a "perfect summer" (I don't believe in perfection until heaven,) but it will be a really important time for Aulo and I's relationship. Getting to spend that time in person and see how the other person responds in many different situations will confirm either that it's going to go further or it can't. I'm really excited to be able to talk to him without having to look at a screen in front of me. However, I am incredibly thankful for the blessing that Skype has provided us. It is so nice to at least hear his voice every week.

Thank you all so very much for your prayers!!! I could not have made it through without them, and in the really rough patches, I could definitely sense them! I will hopefully have a chance this week to send out my update letter, so be looking for the second edition of "Sarah's Scribblings" :)

Something in the fall air

Waking up to a chilly morning, I quickly grabbed my clothes and headed for the shower. I was excited for a new day, but wishing for the heat that I had experienced at the beach only 4 days earlier. Still feeling the remnants of a sunburn quickly turning into a tan/peeling skin, the cold air that whirled around me as I walked out the door in a skirt, (Moody student teacher dress code), was quite a contrast.

Throughout the morning, things were crazy as usual. Checking student's homework in the few spare moments while they were gone at Art was a flurry of math papers, spelling crosswords and the rubber fingertip I use. It was good because my cooperating teacher and I were able to meet and discuss some things I can work on. These meetings are always really helpful, but also overwhelming and make me feel as though I need to all of a sudden get so much bettter. But every time I think that, I remember that God's is molding me, not quickly making me a great teacher. That is not the way He works, but instead shapes me slowly and steadily to do His work in a way that is most effective.

Later that evening, I was overcome with homesickness. I had so much I needed to share with SOMEONE and just wanted to run to a dorm room or a family member. Then I realized what an ironic thought that was "I just need to talk to someone." Someone is ALWAYS there and loves it when I talk to Him. Realizing that I don't have any close friends here yet can seem sad, but then I realize that it helps me run to God so much more. It can become a temptation to want to either wallow in pity or run to Skype and try to talk to someone before telling God about my difficulties. But with a heart more vulnerable and open, I was able to experience God's friendship in a new way.

The kids continue to be a blessing. Though there are moments that become frustrating because I know I'm not getting through to them as much as I could, there are others when they make me remember why I want to work with kids in the first place. They are so honest and vulnerable, and that can be a scary thought, because my words need to be so well thought out.

Anyways, these are my Friday evening thoughts. I am enjoying a quiet moment with some music, and am looking forward to the Brazilian small group I'm part of from our church. We usually have a great time laughing, praying and being typical loud Brazilians. Praise God for carrying me through and helping me with my really awful bout of homesickness. I was actually almost physically sick for a while, but had to keep trusting God to get me through it.

Goodnight honeymoon stage

There always comes a time when reality sets in. In most phases and transitions of life we experience a short period when everything seems to be going perfectly smoothly and nothing will discourage you from the task at hand. And then there comes a point where you realize that being joyful and content takes work and lots of time with God.

Next week is going to be my first full week of teaching and though it is a short week, I became very overwhelmed yesterday. Part of the reason for that is because I had spent a lot of my free time during the schoolday painting the big backgrounds for the third grade play. It took quite a bit of time, and I was exhausted by the end of the week. Thankfully, the Lord put my perspective in the right place, reminding me why I am doing all of this: because this is where He has put me and because I have so much to learn from these kids. Not to mention that they are in need of someone to guide them and I am one of those people right now.

Last Friday (the 19th) I was able to go out to the Word of Life in Atibaia (about 2 hours from here) and reconnect with some missionary friends I grew up with in northern Brasil. It was such a great time, though short and really encouraged me.

There were some very meaningful moments this week. My parents got to come visit for Sunday- Tuesday which was a blessing!! We were able to have some fun times and good talks, and they got to see the church I have been attending as well as see PACA. We died laughing on Monday night playing Dutch Blitz and Mad Lib together. Mom got frustrated with Dad winning all the time that she threw all her cards at him and then with a laugh said, "That felt SOOOOO good!!!"

The kids did a wonderful job on their play. They sang a song by Mary Rice Hopkins called "Forgive" which is about the parable of the unmerciful servant. It is a really beautiful song and when kids sing it always gets to me. Such sweet sounding voices. Even though practices could get stressful and they wouldn't listen, that moment at the end when they would practice their song would help get my mind in the right place.

That is all for now! I have finished my lesson planning and am hoping to enjoy an evening with my roomate and another friend. :)

Thanks for your prayers! I cannot tell you how much I have felt them. There are times when I feel so discouraged and God just reminds me of His purposes and plans - they can be unknown to me, but He has already laid them out for me. SO thankful!

Seaweed, fossils and honesty

So Bbax, I totally stole the idea of putting three random ideas into the title to grab attention. :) The past two days have included many sweet moments, and have stood out to me in their own specific ways. First of all, let me make mention of the fact that these kids have a way of finding some way to work their way into your affections, despite their misbehavior. Even though there are many times I have to be strict and correct them, there are also those times when I look them in the eye and want to tear up from their sweetness.

So over lunch, I was finishing up the last of my rice, beans and salad, and chatting with the other teachers. H., a sweet Korean girl in my class, came flying over to me, hugged me and said, "Miss H, Miss H! I left something on your desk for you!"
"Oh, how sweet!"
"SEAWEED!" And off she goes in all her happy abandon.

Now I have made it my policy that I will not reject food before I try it, especially when I'm around the kids because many of them are pretty picky anyways. Though I have tried seaweed, it was a long time ago, and I didn't want to simply give it back to her without trying it. So, on arriving back to my desk, (finding a cell phone and a random scratch paper with numbers scrawled all over it....leftovers from a harried 10-year old boy in a hurry to get to recess), I found the infamous green strips of ocean produce. :/ Tearing off a tiny piece (I seriously do not like seafood, except for the occassional fish or shrimp), and quickly chewed. Hmmmmm, yeah not enjoyable. When H. came back into the room, I was able to tell her that I indeed tried it. She graciously took it back, offered it to Miss Deboer twice, (who also does not enjoy it), and munched contentedly on the wretched stuff.

So discussing fossils is harder than it seems. There are so many opinions about dinosaurs and mammoths and amounts of years, that it takes quite a lot of thought and careful explanation of the importance of not believing everything we read. They ask some incredible questions: for instance, "Why do animals kill each other now and they didn't when God first created them?" I know, amazing leading question right? I also had my first kid fall asleep on me during 8th period, halfway through the Science lesson. He's one of those kids who is constantly having to be corrected about not putting his head down on his desk or slouching all over the place. I was just scanning the room and one of the boys near T. (our sleepy friend), was raising his hand. I called on him and he said, "Um, T. is asleep..." WE all started slightly chuckling, and I went over and poked him in the arm, then harder, then had to shake him awake. I was trying so hard not to bust out, especially when he raised his head with the most confused look on his face, then saw us laughing and smiled somewhat. I had everyone stand up, and had our friend T. do 10 jumping jacks. "Did that wake you up?" I asked, a smile still present on my face.
"He just gave me a sleepy look and I had everyone sit down again.

The other thing that happened today that amazed me and blessed me beyond belief was during Grammar. A Brazilian/American girl, V., is a joy to have in the classroom. She lost her mother about 4 years ago, and does not seem to be bitter at all, but still will talk openly about it. That has nothing to do with today's lesson, but she is the kind of girl I would definitely trust with all kinds of responsibilities. We were going over one section of grammar together, and then they were to complete the second section on their own. I noticed that a few of the students had done most of the second section while we were carefully going over the first part as a class. I had them "flip a card" which is our way of keeping them in line. They are different colors and certain ones mean a warning, 5 minute in at recess, and so on. I allowed them about five more minutes to work, and thought nothing more of the matter. V. came over to my stool, and said quietly, "I was also doing the second part while we were working together."

HELLO!!! Gloria a Dios! Yay for honesty! I could have hugged her I was so happy with her! I asked her to flip a card, but thanked her for telling the truth. Right before they all left for the day, she walked over to my desk, and said, "My dad always told me it's better to tell the truth, even if it means you'll get in trouble." That's when a couple tears came to my eyes.
"That is exactly right, V.! I was so, so glad you told me the truth, and even though it means you had to flip a card, if I had found out later, and realized you hadn't told me the truth, you would have had to flip 2 cards." I gave her a big thumbs-up and her grin stretched clear to the ceiling. Talk about amazing moment!

Each one is loved

I have gotten to the point where I have started to see some certain things in each of the students that amazes me and could also make me go crazy if I didn't have the Holy Spirit. :) My cooperating teacher has helped me to understand the kids a bit better, and so far it's been quite a journey learning more and more about them. Even though there is no way to describe them all to you, I would like to help you catch just a tiny glimpse of the kids I am with 5 days out of the week.

First of all, there is little L., (just to protect their names), a Korean-Brazilian boy who just craaaacks me up sometimes. He has a little rough voice, and when he talks to you he sort of cocks his head and sideglances at you the entire time. He is dead center in front of me when I'm teaching, and whenever I have a questions he absolutely feels he needs to answer, he raises his hand and mentions desperately, "I knooooow!" I have to swallow hard to not laugh, and instead to correct his talking without being called on. Then there's J, an incredible Chinese-American girl who is suuuuper bright, but would never brag about it. She is almost like a motherly student, and she's taller than anyone else. Whenever I'm teaching and I say something that needs affirmation or I am saying something important, she is the only one who will nod her head, encouraging me more than she knows :)

There is also S, who is one of the only full American kids in the classroom. He has some trouble getting through assignments quickly, and has to be prompted consistently to work a bit quicker. He is also an incredibly sweet boy, and wouldn't hurt a fly (that I know of so far :) One of the funniest things I have ever seen was when the kids all headed to swimming and we were sitting eating lunch with the teachers. And who walks by but S., a blond headed, swim-suit clad, (complete with a waterproof shirt,) with his goggles ALREADY ON, his towel slung over his shoulder, and the swagger of a 9-year old ready for action. OH my goodness, Christine (the third grade teacher) and I about died laughing. So great.

These are just a few of the kids and I'll try to describe them to you a bit more in the days to come. I am having a wonderful, relaxing Friday night. I corrected their memory verse notebooks tonight, while chilling with my roomate. Their verse for this week was Psalm 121:3,4: "He will not let your foot slip. He who watches over you will not sleep; indeed, He who watches over Israel will never slumber nor sleep." What an amazing promise. Never let your foot slip. Even when we think things are sliding away and we cannot keep up, He is not sleeping. He is wide awake, projecting the plans for us, and helping us to serve Him in so many diverse and necessary ways for His kingdom. It is pretty exciting because by correcting the students' verses (which they write four times each week,) it's pretty impossible to not memorize them. One more gift from God.

Keep rollin' on

Life continues to be rich and full. Today I was reading about how we have been made ALIVE through Christ, and there is no darkness in us. I pray I will never get tired of thinking about this! This week I will be teaching two subjects, Bible and Science, and working on keeping on top of other things I need to get done too.

It's amazing how similar São Paulo is to Boa Vista but also how very different it is too. We were driving back from the mall on Saturday night, and as we drove past, I realized how much bigger and more varied it is. There are so many neighborhoods, and only a few streets are familiar so far. In Boa Vista, it was easy to recognize what part of town we were in, but here, it takes some effort to think about where we are, since "downtown" is such a relative term here.

Today was a great day, though I was kind of tired from skyping with Mom, Dad, Melissa and then Nelton, Bethany and Aulo all together last night. So wonderful but it took me a while to fall asleep after all that talking. It is so nice to be in the sunshine. Today was particularly hot, and the only relief I got was jumping into the pool for a while. There is no better feeling than all the heat washing away right when you get into the water. :)

Tonight Sarah and I had leftover shepherd's pie I made yesterday and watched "Skylark" which I haven't seen in years. So fun! I managed to get some stuff done while we we watched too, since I've seen it before.

Better head to bed so I'm not as tired tomorrow :)

So apparently it's not a good idea to post pics of the kids all over facebook, but the blog is a better way. So, here a few of the kids. They are so great and they really help me to keep things in perspective. I think I just love their fresh view on things, not complicating things more than they need to be.

I have a four day weekend which is really nice. And I miss my man a lot. You can pray for me in that. Less than 3 months til I see him!