Waking up to a chilly morning, I quickly grabbed my clothes and headed for the shower. I was excited for a new day, but wishing for the heat that I had experienced at the beach only 4 days earlier. Still feeling the remnants of a sunburn quickly turning into a tan/peeling skin, the cold air that whirled around me as I walked out the door in a skirt, (Moody student teacher dress code), was quite a contrast.
Throughout the morning, things were crazy as usual. Checking student's homework in the few spare moments while they were gone at Art was a flurry of math papers, spelling crosswords and the rubber fingertip I use. It was good because my cooperating teacher and I were able to meet and discuss some things I can work on. These meetings are always really helpful, but also overwhelming and make me feel as though I need to all of a sudden get so much bettter. But every time I think that, I remember that God's is molding me, not quickly making me a great teacher. That is not the way He works, but instead shapes me slowly and steadily to do His work in a way that is most effective.
Later that evening, I was overcome with homesickness. I had so much I needed to share with SOMEONE and just wanted to run to a dorm room or a family member. Then I realized what an ironic thought that was "I just need to talk to someone." Someone is ALWAYS there and loves it when I talk to Him. Realizing that I don't have any close friends here yet can seem sad, but then I realize that it helps me run to God so much more. It can become a temptation to want to either wallow in pity or run to Skype and try to talk to someone before telling God about my difficulties. But with a heart more vulnerable and open, I was able to experience God's friendship in a new way.
The kids continue to be a blessing. Though there are moments that become frustrating because I know I'm not getting through to them as much as I could, there are others when they make me remember why I want to work with kids in the first place. They are so honest and vulnerable, and that can be a scary thought, because my words need to be so well thought out.
Anyways, these are my Friday evening thoughts. I am enjoying a quiet moment with some music, and am looking forward to the Brazilian small group I'm part of from our church. We usually have a great time laughing, praying and being typical loud Brazilians. Praise God for carrying me through and helping me with my really awful bout of homesickness. I was actually almost physically sick for a while, but had to keep trusting God to get me through it.
